10 things I learnt about working at erotic (happy ending) massage parlour

Byline: Mercedes Chan

I was brought up in China

Brought up in the bustles of Shanghai made me passionate about massage practice from an early age, there was literally a massage parlour on every doorstep! I wasn’t too academic at school, so when I reached the tender age of 18 I started to panic with what I wanted to do in my life. One thing I have been blessed with is captivating oriental looks and if I must say for myself, a gorgeous body! The boys would literally fight for my attention.

I LOVE British men

However, I wasn’t in a rush to settle down and with not much of a modelling scene in China I felt like my stunning looks were going to waste. Frantically finding something to fill my time with I decided to travel to London for a summer of fun, where I developed a taste for British men. I was in awe of their gentlemanly ways and their accent made me weak at the knees. I would often go out in Soho and pick up a guy to take back to my tiny apartment I was renting. I would woo them with my speciality of a hot massage, complete with some naughtier fun. Most guys couldn’t believe their luck (I struggled to get some to leave the morning after!)

I could get paid for this

However, I was set on keeping every casual. I was young, hot and quite frankly having the time of my life. Despite how much fun I was having money was starting to run low and I really didn’t want to leave London. Lying in next bed next to a guy on a Sunday morning he wouldn’t shut up about how amazing our night of passion was and then made the remark “people would pay good money for you.” It might have only been a throwaway comment, but for me it was a light bulb moment. I COULD DO THIS FOR A LIVING! Scouring the Internet, I sourced a massage parlour in London who immediately arranged an interview with me, as Asian massage was flourishing in the city. Getting the job, I moved out of my tiny flat and into a plush Marylebone apartment with the other masseuses. They were all oriental, so I immediately felt at home. And the rest was to be history….

I was nervous on my first day and the providing the first happy ending massage

My first day was a little daunting. I was used to sleeping with different men but not having a choice was something I did find hard to deal with at first. My first client was Abdul, a 40-something business man from Dubai. When a client arrived all the masseuses would gather in the reception so they could choose who they wanted. I remember Adbul’s very words “I’ll have that one in the corner, she looks young”.

Some clients are sweaty

Leaving my seat, I timidly showed him to the bedroom and undressed him out of his clothes. The whole session is a bit of a blur to me, but maybe from working all day, I remember Abdul was VERY sweaty! Sweatiness was to become a common theme when working at Bliss Body to Body and is something I soon became accustomed to. Despite learning how to switch-off slightly from the stench of BO, I much preferred a session with a client with good hygiene. It just made me more passionate about the massage and was way more into it. This goes for every masseuse I’ve met. Showers are free of charge to use at most parlours, so yeah guys there’s no reason to have a happy ending massage without washing beforehand. It’s common courtesy!

I saw lots of willies every week

We used to see around seven clients on an average day (that’s about 35 different penises a week!) For obvious reasons, I kept relatively private about my massaging job, but my friends who did know were keen to ask about the willies I saw! And believe me, I witnessed it all – from 70 year olds with a schlong and the stamina of a stallion - to much younger guys who struggled to even get hard.

Masseuses have to have a high sex drive

I’m often asked now how I was able to engage in sexy time so frequently, but as I’m someone with a naturally high sex-drive it wasn’t too much for an issue. You’ve definitely got to absolutely love sex to be an erotic masseuse. Yes, some days my little fairy might have throbbed, but to me that’s just a sign of a good session and the pain would always subside when getting my intimate with my next encounter. On quieter days, the other masseuses and I would sometimes play ‘guess the penis’ where when a new client entered the parlour we’d have to guess what they’re manhood was like. Small, long or had good girth? We’d eagerly wait for their session to finish so their masseuse could return to tell all.

Some clients have some really bizarre fetishes

‘Guess the penis’ was a great game, but it wasn’t the main thing that kept me amused! Every day I catered for client’s strangest request and fetishes, which seemed to get weirder as the days went on. I’m extremely open-minded and was happy to take part in a golden-shower, shave a client’s feet and even let them watch me on the toilet every once in a while. But some requests were just a big fat NO.

But some requests are too far

Yes, one client actually asked me if I’d shit on his chest. Which being honest, I did consider with the hefty price he was willing to pay. But even me, a dirty little minx from China decided I didn’t want to get my poo involved with a sexy service! Over the years working at Bliss Body to Body it wasn’t uncommon for clients to ask for outcall massage in their car. One client even tried to win me over by stating there’s extra room because he owned a Range Rover. Seriously, what goes through these guys’ heads? One outcall which I’ll never forget was on at Heathrow Airport. It was a cold and wet day in January and me and my driver were struggling to beat the M40 traffic to attend to a client staying at the Hilton Hotel at Terminal 4. When arriving, the man was clearly in a fluster “Listen, I have to check-out earlier than I thought,” he said. “But we can always have the massage in the airport toilets if you like?” my jaw dropped to the floor as I tried to comprehend what he just said. I did cry all the way home, how could someone think of me with so little value?

Masseuse life is hectic

Massage parlours are relaxing places (for the clients) but are super chaotic for the masseuses, especially if you’re a hit with clients! With opening times of 10am until 3am every single day of the week, a client could arrive for a session with me at any point of the day. I think the most sessions I did in one day was around 12 – and yes, my little fairy did need a breather afterwards. Of course, some days I was more tired than others but my passion for massage and sex always spurred me on.

The money is AMAZING

One thing which wasn’t too bad was the money either – it did set me for life! I worked at Bliss Body to Body for three years before I thought it was my time to move back home – taking all my fun, whacky and bizarre memories with me. Since returning to China I’ve heard the erotic massage continues to overwhelming flourish in London, with new masseuses moving to the capital to pleasure British men every single day! And us oriental girls sure do love a British businessman. Erotic massage is just as fun for the therapist as it for the client. I can’t even tell you how much you should book one today! If you are interested in happy ending massage in London don't hesitate to visit out happy ending massage London page.